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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
In a humanitarian gesture, I am reaching out to all peoples of the South. Even though you may have been brainwashed into believing that grits are yummy, there is still the opportunity for each and any of you to quit eatin' like Goldilocks lappin porridge inside the 3 Bears' hizzle. Fer crissake, there aint no shame in eating decently for a change. You know that its no fun shovelling dribbly **** to yur mouth in the way of puttin' away a breakfast. Its worse than flat soggy, mushy corn flakes, I swear.
Allow me to put you onto sumthing with a little sustanance to it.

STEP 1. Lightly saute some onion.


STEP 2. Parboil, cool, skin, and cut up taters. Add to onions along with plenty butter.


STEP 3. Scramble some eggz and fry up some sage pan sausage. Toast not included in pic.


See what I mean? Grits who?
I rest my case.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thats another thing about grits. Ya gotta carry a fork, spoon, knife, drinking straw, & hacksaw cuz ya never know what the heck the end product will be like. Ya need a dagum Swiss Feeding Tool to git em to yur mouth. I cant even leave the box open and git the weevils to eat em, and I'm talkin good Suthern-bred weevils too.
 

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And I suppose you see no glory in okra. Grits lend character to a meal and a person. What a curse to be from the land of the UnGodly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
That "Land of the UnGodly" really got me gigglin! Actually, being a lover of most everything Cajun, I love okra.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hear ye hear ye, ye olde grits-lappers:

Stay tuned for a block of instruction regarding another Northern (northern part of
state of Jalisco, Mexico) breakfast favorite: Chorizo & Eggz. This mornings episode will cover famed Messican chef El Jeffy San Shoeritos' recipe for the Flaming Chorizo Omelette, just like Tia Maria serves at her dirt-floor cantina in the small herb growing village of Mota Bueno, Jalisco. This puppy will not only clean yur colon, but cautherize it when its done. Hard core bean bandits have been known to press diced habanero peppers against their exhaust pipe to cool things off eating the Flaming Chorizo Omelette. Seasoned pepperbellies have sat and wept after eating one and finding out the town is outta water. There is a report of a taste tester from a local chili processing plant taking the battery out of his lawn mower and drinking the acid in an attempt to get the Flaming Chorizo to stop burnin'. This baby will not only feed you, but kill any parasites you may be harboring. Post-meal flatulence under the covers will also eradicate any dust mite & bed bug problems in yur hizzlito. Dont make the mistake of touching yurself, either properly or improperly, while putting together this bad boy, or you will arrive at the ER with a breadsack of ice cubes pressed up against yur junk.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Oh ye masses of grits-gulpers, find yur culinary salvation in Chorizo n Huevos ala El Shoerito.

Several easy steps:
1. Git ready


2. Get set.




3. Go.


4. Nirvana. You have arrived.


5. Yes. I know. Makes grits seem like sloppin the hogz.
 

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:yes:Good looking breakfast there shoer.:thumbup::thumbup: It is missing something though.:nono: Where the heck is the scrappel???dohdoh:yes::high5:

AC
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Gawd I miss my ol girlfriend Diana from the very early 80's in Yuma, AZ. She could grab the flour or corn, tub of Manteca, and go to makin fresh tortillas from scratch. Like Cap'n Potomac Mike sez: "If she'd of had pistol-grip ears I woulda married her." She got a corn flour that had chipped corn pieces in it that was some kinda good fresh off the heat. Dangit, I messed things up with her myself. Before her ears had a chance to get some natural pistol-gripping to em I had em stretched out so far they hung like the set on a Walker hound.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
:yes:Good looking breakfast there shoer.:thumbup::thumbup: It is missing something though.:nono: Where the heck is the scrappel???dohdoh:yes::high5:

AC
Well Andy, to my way of thinkin, contaminating scrapple with chorizo or vica-versa aint payin' proper respect to either.

You be careful around that scrapple, it has plenty of animal brains in it which if you aint careful will have you down with a case of the mouth-foamin crazies. You'll get some tainted, geneticly modified sheep brains that will leave you shakin' like a dog trying to pass a jagged peach pit. You wont recognize yurself in the mirror and yur ol lady will leave you cuz you blasted every mirror in the house away shooting at the intruder. I hear it gets pretty bad.
 
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