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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I write this because I know that I must not be alone in my sickness.

Starting about 2 weeks ago I went crazy. [excited] Not crazy like thinking I was Napoleon or voting for Al Gore crazy - more like an obsessive/compulsive - risk of divorce and losing my job type of crazy.

It seems that there is a direct correlation between the Rut and my sickness. Back in September and early October I would scout and/or hunt about 2 times a week, on average. Now, it is all I can do to be at work for more than a couple of hours while thinking about the possibility of a giant deer snacking on acorns right under my stand while I sit in my office. I get itchy about 2 pm and come 3 - don't get in my way - screw the document I was working on, I'm mowing over GS-11's enroute to my car and then to my stand. I am now averaging 4 days (Morning/evenings) in the woods/week.

I guess I'm getting ahead of myself here. It actually starts in the morning. You know, I've tried for years to work out/jog in the morning, but the bed is so comfortable... However, when it comes to hunting (or fishing), I'm up at 0430 and out the door by 0500, regardless of the weather. An hour earlier if I am going to North Carolina to hunt.

I probably don't have to tell some of you guys that it is tricky waking up that early in a house populated by a dog, 3 children and a cranky wife who is just now coming to terms with the depth of my obsession. First, I have to shower with the green soap to remove all odors and then quietly get dressed in my camies. One wrong move or loud noise and BANG - I have a disoriented 3 year old that is now awake and wanting a bowl of Fruit Loops. If I mill around in the kitchen too long, I have a dog that wants to fetch the newspaper so he can be fed. Waking the wife so she can take care of these time consuming chores is not a good tactical move. But "I have a system" and as of late I have snuck out of the house undetected every time for the past month.

Of course the car was gassed the previous night, but I am hungry and have to stop at the WaWa to get a Bagel and a cup of coffee. After my 5 minute indulgence, I have a 45 minute drive to my tree stand near Ft Eustis. One of the good things about leaving so early is that the traffic is non-existent for the most part. Of course I think I have passed one or two of you guys. I'm the guy driving like he is qualifying.

After putting on more clothes, safety harness and gathering my ever growing collection of Bass Pro Shop goodies, I usually get into my stand just prior to shooting time. I use these few precious minutes to think of an excuse to be late for work. Hmmm what will it be today; kid was sick, wife needed help, flat tire, hit a deer, an off-site meeting... The list is endless and fortunately for me, unnecessary. Everyone in the office knows that I am insane and that I hunt most mornings in Oct/Nov. I bring them venison and fish all the time and I cover for them when they "go crazy" with their various hobbies. Still, I like to have one ready just in case I forgot about some important meeting or project. Of course, if I get a deer I call in sick because I can't come to work dripping in blood - not yet anyway.

Around 0800, I begrudgingly get out of my stand. Even though I am sure that the big one is just outside of my sight, there is still part of me that tries to get in at a somewhat reasonable time. You guys all know the "underestimate the time it takes" method. You have somewhere to be - but you just want to stay out a liiiiittttllle bit longer so you unconsciously underestimate the time it is gonna take you to get to where you need to go. You have it broken down into minutes and seconds. However, this is usually a best case scenario time... Bottom line - you're gonna be late.

Once again, "I have a system" for changing clothes and getting to work in the least amount of time. If I am coming back that afternoon, I'll leave my bow in the tree. I change in the car pour a little water in my hair, comb it and go. (You should see what a wool cap does to my hair. The Einstein look is not real big here where I work.)

When I get to work at 0900, I lie about the big one I saw, get some coffee, log on here and crank out some work while waiting for 3:00 pm. Oh by the way, my job is not demanding (could you tell?) and I wish I could be doing something else... but I haven't figured out how to make a lot of money hunting or fishing. I'm still looking. Hmmmm, maybe I could wire my tree stand with and work remote "from home"...

Of course after Hunting there is Striper season - then Bass fishing and Gobbler - then summer Bay fishing - and then back to hunting. I call it the circle of death. She only has my full attention in February (if it is not warm). My wife got sick of it so I pay her $10,000/year to promise not to complain. Because she can use that money for whatever, she has been better. (Note: I never miss a birthday, anniversary or event that is important to her... it was in the contract)

Am I alone? I think I need help. Oh hey, look at the time... gotta go!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well hot dang. I thought I was alone. We should start a club! He11 we already have the website. In fact, we should start one for our wives and girlfriends... just make sure the two of mine don't meet! [wink] They could call it the Big Game Widow's Club.
 
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