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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I desperately need your help in finding some answers to the following questions. My boredom has gotten to the critical stage! Here's the questions:

1. Why don't they make a zipper or pee hole when they make Grundens? Don't Scandanavians ever have to pee? You have to take your top off, get out of the suspenders, and drop your bottoms in order to pee. That's what a woman has to do. Are Grundens made by women?

2. What do the weathermen do on the weekends? They probably don't fish. How accurate would the forecasts be if their pay was based on their percent of accuracy?

3. Do they make offshore reels that are totally impervious to salt water? Penn Internationals are nothing more than giant sacrificial anodes waiting to be eaten alive by the salt. I love my Tiagras, and they do seem to hold up a tad better than the Penn's, but are there any reels out there with the guts of a Tiagra that are immune to the salt environment?

4. Where the hell do all of the "happy birthday" balloons come from that are floating offshore?

5. Why do the bigger bluefin always hit the lightest rod in the spread? (Tommy, your help here would be appreciated)

6. Who is it that comes aboard your boat in the dark of the night and tangles up your anchor rode despite the fact that you stored it neatly and with great care?

7. Most important, when is the wind gonna die enough to get out there? I can't take much more of this.

Any answers will be greatly appreciated!
 

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1. You just piss away in the Grundens and then pour the contents of your white boots overboard. That is how the system works.

2. Weather guessing, tea leaves, and crystal balls are all methods used by todays weathermen I think.

3. Everything that is impervious to saltwater is made of plastic and will quickly break. Plus who would want to fish with a plastic reel?

4. The balloons all come from the same club in Key West were you get free drinks, a conch fritter and keylime pie on your birthday.

5. More reason to run all 50W and 80W so they don't have choice.

6. Anchor rode is a living creature that wraps itself into a spawning ball when left in the rode locker for more than 1 week without subjecting it to saltwater.

7. Screw the wind let's fish, you listen to the weatherman and you will starve. Don't listen to him and you may drown.

Anything below 20kts this coming weekend and let's go!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Greg:

I agree with everything but #1.

Get your stuff packed and get ready to go. I won't be able to give you much notice, but I'm busting out of here soon and heading to salt water!
 

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Addiction: (substitute offshore fishing for drugs or alcohol and this describes us)

The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance: a drug used in the treatment of heroin addiction. The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.

So essentially, we are experiencing trauma because we have not received our fix. We either will need to enter a treatment program very soon, or get our fix. :)) :)) :))
 

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Regarding the second:

Weathermen are right ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE TIME!

Maybe folks can understand this a little better using a poker analogy.

If a TV poker tournament commentator states that player A has a 60% chance to win his all-in bet, then *exactly six out of ten times in the long run* that hand will hold up against the 40% hand that player B called him with. Four times out of ten it won't.

And so it is with weather. If the weatherman states there is a 60% chance of rain today, *exactly six out of ten times when conditions are equal to today it will rain* and you can take that to the bank.

The problem is two-fold for anglers, and let's get away from rain because I assume most of you can at least nod at the above example. First, good ol' weatherman will say "NE winds 5-10" and when you get Out There you're being blown to China. Bear in mind that those wind predictions are just like rain predictions... but ol' weatherman doesn't normally tell you what the *percentage* chance of those foretold winds happen to be. Also, anglers tend to think any forecast is either right or wrong as to what that day will be. It's not; it's just a report of what *usually* happens when conditions match what have today.

Second, ol' weatherman is only truly happy when he can cackle over possible disaster for folks, because his ratings skyrocket and suddenly he's The Man... the scientist in the 50's monster flick who is the only one with an explanation for what is going on. Conversely, after long periods of misery or whipsawing -- like now -- he gets a chance to be the Golden Boy when he can call for nice stuff... and downplays the fact that said nice stuff is only X percent likely to occur. But the only thing you notice tomorrow is overcast nastiness rather the sunshine you expected.

Ultimately though, today's weatherfolk have an accuracy record that is genuinely 100%. They are never WRONG.

YOU ARE... when you don't realize that exactly one out of ten times, your opponent will catch the card on the river he needs when he only has a 10% chance to beat you.
 

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I desperately need your help in finding some answers to the following questions. My boredom has gotten to the critical stage! Here's the questions:

1. Why don't they make a zipper or pee hole when they make Grundens? Don't Scandanavians ever have to pee? You have to take your top off, get out of the suspenders, and drop your bottoms in order to pee. That's what a woman has to do. Are Grundens made by women?

2. What do the weathermen do on the weekends? They probably don't fish. How accurate would the forecasts be if their pay was based on their percent of accuracy?

3. Do they make offshore reels that are totally impervious to salt water? Penn Internationals are nothing more than giant sacrificial anodes waiting to be eaten alive by the salt. I love my Tiagras, and they do seem to hold up a tad better than the Penn's, but are there any reels out there with the guts of a Tiagra that are immune to the salt environment?

4. Where the hell do all of the "happy birthday" balloons come from that are floating offshore?

5. Why do the bigger bluefin always hit the lightest rod in the spread? (Tommy, your help here would be appreciated)

6. Who is it that comes aboard your boat in the dark of the night and tangles up your anchor rode despite the fact that you stored it neatly and with great care?

7. Most important, when is the wind gonna die enough to get out there? I can't take much more of this.

Any answers will be greatly appreciated!
#1 The pee hole would leak. So take your pick warm yellow water or cold salty water. See sfcallen

#2 Global warming my a$$. Al Gore (not a weatherman) Is gonna quote a bunch of weathermen to tell me what the weather will be like in 20-100 years. They cant get the 24 hour forecast right so I think I will be keeping the SUV.

#3 Nothing is impervious to salt water not even pee holes in your Grundens. See #1.

#4 They are everywhere out there and there is even a cleanup movement to pick them up. Most come from schools that let a balloon per kid go with a note attached so if someone finds it they can become your pen pal. Al Gore is on top of this and says putting a stop to it will reduce the kids carbon footprint, he also owns Grundens and is laughing his a$$ of at you pissing in your boot instead of warming the oceans.

#5 Mr. Murphy is an alias. I will just give you his real initials AG.

#6 See #5

#7 With the current absolutley perdictable weather patterns associated with global warming and the conditions of the planet with el nino and non el nino I would say the best person to ask would be Mr. Murphy.:D
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Good answers Raymond!! Except your thoughts about Al Gore owning Grundens...... He probably squats to............:D As for sfcallen..... I can remember one morning in the dark at O/I and climbimg a 15 footer in the inlet. Afterwards, he had the only pair of boots on the boat full of pee:D
 

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Good answers Raymond!! Except your thoughts about Al Gore owning Grundens...... He probably squats to............:D As for sfcallen..... I can remember one morning in the dark at O/I and climbimg a 15 footer in the inlet. Afterwards, he had the only pair of boots on the boat full of pee:D
I think I was the one holding the spot light on the wave. There were a couple of other anglers as I remember curled up in the floor in the fetal position.:yes:
 

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1. Why don't they make a zipper or pee hole when they make Grundens? Don't Scandanavians ever have to pee? You have to take your top off, get out of the suspenders, and drop your bottoms in order to pee. That's what a woman has to do. Are Grundens made by women?

You say that's what women have to do like it's a bad thing... LOL At least you don't have to keep toilet tissue dry on the boat!!! :yes: That's quite the treat...

2. What do the weathermen do on the weekends? They probably don't fish. How accurate would the forecasts be if their pay was based on their percent of accuracy?

You would first have to define accuracy to them!!! I think that part of thier training was left out... Besides, they probably sit at OI Bridge and laugh at poor folks like us drooling at the ocean waves as they smack us in the face going through the inlet... They think they are saving us I'm sure...

3. Do they make offshore reels that are totally impervious to salt water? Penn Internationals are nothing more than giant sacrificial anodes waiting to be eaten alive by the salt. I love my Tiagras, and they do seem to hold up a tad better than the Penn's, but are there any reels out there with the guts of a Tiagra that are immune to the salt environment?

No! :nono:

4. Where the hell do all of the "happy birthday" balloons come from that are floating offshore?

Come on now, it only takes a mans turning 40 once to set off a good number of balloons... Think of all the old salt out there! :eek:

5. Why do the bigger bluefin always hit the lightest rod in the spread? (Tommy, your help here would be appreciated)

The bait looks better on that rod I'm sure... ;-) TT probably baited it...

6. Who is it that comes aboard your boat in the dark of the night and tangles up your anchor rode despite the fact that you stored it neatly and with great care?

Tom, I hate to tell you but it's not a person at all... It's going through the inlet trying to get out when you should be staying at the dock...

7. Most important, when is the wind gonna die enough to get out there? I can't take much more of this.

When Bill gets his boat put back together... I made a deal w/ the weather man asking him to please keep things stirred up until we could get back out!!! Misery loves company!!! :boat:

Any answers will be greatly appreciated

Hope these helped you out a bit!!!

Becko-
 

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Great Post ,,lol
And oh yeah, Real WATERMAN Wear HH Helly Hansons. (no pp hole)
Just take your boot off and grab the swwd(salt water wash down) and hang em to the right.

ahhhh, now there's more room for BEER!

Bill

PS: when the hell will BIMINI MARINE have my boat ready????

DAN are you listening!!!!?????
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 · (Edited)
Thanks for the answers Becky! I don't think anything is really gonna help until I can get out there! We've got all the dynamite witches and lures you made for us and I can't wait to drag 'em! I told Bill he was welcome to climb aboard my boat if he needed a fix.... he's gotta be hurting by now! Thanks again!

Nice looking Yeller boat, Bill!
 

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I went to a lecture by a NOAA weatherman about a year ago. Funny thing was, he spent the 1st 45 minutes telling us why they get the weather wrong.

Chris
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Chris:

I was thinking that when a person is interviewed for a meteorologist position, that when salary is discussed perhaps the potential employer could say that "....there is a 70% chance that you'll receive a check each week..." Wonder how that would go over?
 
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