When we were on a Jump Operation at Lakehurst, N.J. there times when we would be put on hold due to Flight traffic in and out of McQuire AFB and would have to go into a holding pattern before we could go on final Jump Run. There was this ******* Flight Engineer who used to always light up during this time and a lot of the young troopers we had would get air sick because it would be hot and they weren't used to flying as well as making thier very first jump. I asked this asswipe if he could forego the smoking when we were jumping students and he basically told me to **** off.
How I got back at him was, when ever I knew I would be in the door jumpmastering that morning I would eat about 4-5 hard boiled eggs and a 1 liter bottle of seltzer water. Anyone who has flown can tell you how altitude can react on a normal digestive system let a lone one that was primed with 5 hard boiled eggs and seltzer.
We were jumping instructors and some Seal Team Members from Del Coronado Island Calif. and were at about 12,000 feet when we were put on hold. The first thing this **** for brains does is reach for his cig's. I asked him to hold off and he shot me the finger. I retaliated by dumping every bit of Methane I had sotroed in my body which started to make the prick gag. I let him know it was me by showing the biggest **** eating grin I could muster.
He and I came to terms on the ground when he realized that was going to be the way it was in the future. He never lit up again when I put my goats on his plane.
Yup, Hard Boiled Eggs and Seltzer does it every time.