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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I hate to trouble ya all with my personal problems here at my home and in my personal life, but I feel comfortable sharing this with ya and hoping maybe I can git some feedback from those of you who are parents.
Its my stepson Scoop. Man, I raised 2 of my own but this is another deal. I adopted him young enuf that I thought my values would rub off on him without any real coaching. For the most part the kid is not a bad boy, especially when you consider all the temptations out there for kids to misbehave on. He came to me with open arms when I adopted him, but maybe the fact that I wasnt willing to pay an additional $3 for the high-chair he was sittin in there at the Toano flea market last autumn has left him feeling rebellious. I mean, he spent the whole dagum winter tending fastidiously (another killer word) to the garden, with little to no problem. He seemed to be happy as we planted everything this spring and has been by my side tending to it so far, but dadgummit, today I come home to find the boy all in his cups. I dont drink, so I dont know if someone supplied him with the beer or if he stolt it. Regardless, its gardening time, and I have no time for this kinda irresponsible behavior from one I saved from adoption by some abusive parents. I need some help obviously, if he cant hang with doing his share for the household he can go on Craigs List and supply some Chinese sweatshop with child labor sewing the waistbands onto Hanes mens briefs.
I am rightfully embarrassed, but you cats are my friends. I hope you can fathom what has happened here without criticizing my parenting skills.
What brings a child to this behavior, and why I ask you?????


I tried slap the boy awake but he done outdrank his system and is on hold for the time being. I was a rowdy kid once, and can empathize in a small way as his parent. Regardless, potatoes are at risk and this kinda **** is unacceptable. He is still weak at the knees but able to kinda keep himself upright, passed out, with some help, at this point. I am brewing some 2X strong coffeee for the little scamp. If that dont work its off to Mike b's meth lab to see if he gots anything to pick him up a little. Mike b is a last resort however, as the last kid who rehabbed there is still weeding cabbage 4 yrs later and aint slept a wink. No dang wonder Mike b grows the best maters on the internet.


Now if any of ya all got any ideas on how to stomp some sense into this kid, please share that info. I cant tend all this gardening chit alone and I dont much cater to lacksadaisical children.

Brad, I value yur take on this. Is this little hellion lashing out at me cuz he spent the winter outside in diapers (prying that frozen chit away from em before washing him this spring was no fun). Or did I just purchase a tainted mail-order-bride, so to speak, and need to cut him loose?

Please help. I am at wits end, and dont want the negative PR when the homicide comes out on the CNN news.

He's a chip off the ol' block though, let him consume some booze and he's worthless as tits on a chikkin. You bastages been my friends thru thick n thin, dont abandon me now in my hour of need.

That little thankless SOB. It is like always, and I mean here's the truth: I show a liitle kindness & understanding by adoption and git slapped in the face for my trouble. The liitle parentless SOB used me to find a home for himself; now that he's settled in the true Scoop comes out. No wonder a family in Canada with too many kids from lack of passtimes in the wintry months put him up for grabs.

Thats it then. I have taken a stance on this questionable child-rearing question.
I am gonna fill the bathtub, drag his drunken azz into it, submerge him, and see just how outta the pic he really is. Personally, I think he has had time to shake it off, share an herbal treatment with Dad, and ingratiate himself back into the family.

Please dont let this news of my misfortune ruin yur alls day.

Thanks for hearing me out, this kinda stuff really tweaks me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Tap this may seem a strange or even inappropriate time to ask of it, but I secretly have always gone along with what I think you'd do in this situation. C'mon, give a wayward parent a hand here. I am awfully close to asking you to take the little guy into the Octogon for some up-close MMA, but although he doesnt carry carry my own true genes, I'd hate to see ya git yur azz whipped. He dint stand out there in 8* weather trying to hoe frozen ground cuz he's a wimp this last winter. You seem like a straight-shooter man and I honestly respect & envy you those qualities (really!) You are also known as a man of few words, and I really like that. I has connotations (good wurdz galore) of not wurdz, but action. Is there any chance I could farm my kid out to you for a good violent, life-saving, but failed, tap-out? Take him within one breath of his last and then tell him "Yur Dad paid me to do this, he cares."
So you lied about the paying part, we's friends. Even if you dint bring me a Pope-on-a-rope-soap on yur return from yur job calibrating Mount Vesuvious a few yrs back when in Italy. And hey, if theres nuthin you can do and its beyond yur able death-dealing, just say so. I have a big boneyard with assassinated appliances that could use human cohabitation. <Holy ****, the pretty wurdz are just flowing today,
Choker will have some catchin-up to do or be left in the dust, verbage-depleted to the max.
Thanks everyone. Scoops' life depends on you. I woulda singled out Bosko, but he no doubt woulda advised ***** spirituals and and a redhead, both of which Scoop is too young to fully fathom.
Dayton, you have made a travesty of child-rearing. This is yur chance to excel buddy. I may not have been his guardian but for a short time, but I know Scoop well enuf that if you turn Buzzard Breath loose on him with a Glock, both kids will benefit from it.
Thanks in advance for any help/direction with this untimely rebellion of a punk kid.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Ok, I'll just say it. Shameful, but I must be honest. He's a slacker. Put him on a job, explain it to him, give & show him the function of garden tools, he'll just stand there fakin' it, like he's really weeding or grooming timber & seeds outta yur stash. The kid has no cannabisability. THERE! < I nailed it. C'mon Hogger, I deserve Wordadamonth honors on that one. Anyway, ya tell him, "punk kid, send the males to hell and you treat them females like they are shaven Oriental hookers", he will look at you with that blank look like Slaphappys lover gits when he puts on a HAZMAT suit and declares NO FRENCH KISSING.
Posts like this, whether you will cop to it or not, are worth atleast 1 back-up pic to substanciate yur point.
I wont stand for 2nd-class laundering of my undies neither. If yur gonna do it, do it right. Presenting organic Hanes:
 

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I think a good military school is in order or perhaps an audition on that A&E show intervention , sounds like the the lil scamp needs to be sent out west to the outward bound program or maybe you can box him up and send him to Ernest Angely he will damn sure get the demons out of him. one things fer sure . you gotta nip it in the bud............. nip it in the bud........ nip it
 

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I'd start with cigarette burns and work your way up 'til something gets the little sassybritches' attention
 

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I dunno man,I kinda like the little rascal,please dont be too hard on im.Ill take im fishin and try to talk to im if its ok with you.some kind words and understanding from a fellow fup might help im.he seems to have alot of good qualities,dresses neet,dont seem mean,keeps hiself clean,aint never seen no dirt on im.Im thinkin if I can share some of the mistakes ive made with im maybe he can relate and put the brakes on is over indulgences.might help too ta get a break from his regular rutine,just sayin
 

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Jeff,,, one word..........Craiglist
Then maybe you can git back to normal,Well as close to normal as you can be!
hate to ruin ya evening,,jus sayin!
mikeb
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Man that has been a great response from ya all, and I truly feel eternally indebted to you all but this wont include a fat sack of BJs for you what overset yur goals. Who said pin him against the wall and slap the bejesus outta him? I am a very kind & gentle man, especially with young children like him, but slappin the pizz outta him was my first thought, and still favorite one. I agree with you 100% on the child-beating. I very much so and very truly think that rattling a youngsters' head in a very violent fashion may be the best direction but for public sentiment about child-beat. Let us look into this further. My father was a kind man, patient, and not quick to temper. However, when I bought the ticket as a kid he would punch it and take me for the ride. I disticnctly remember an occasion when I lipped off just a bit too much as we were milkin the cows when I was about 10. In retrospect, I bought every cent of that ticket. Also, looking back, my Dad did a doozie of a job makin sure it was a learning experience when he sent me on my trip. Some of ya all (and I dont take this jokingly) may not have good thoughts of childhood if yur folks were what we called "heavy-handed." I can count the times my folks beat me on both hands, with spare fingers. But I will tell you the honest truth, and it was only right-the ones I got were documental and I remember well to this day. They formed me, I needed it, they made what I am, good or bad. If any of ya all know what a gutter is in a dairy barn just let me tell you that I remember 2 times that my Dad pinned my head down in the mostly watery cow manure, and I mean direct tankage. He had me by the nape of my neck and I thought I was gonna drown in cow****. Guess what children who often are guided away from sites with basic bottom-line stuff (OH, possibly hurtful to their tender young psyches- more of you lil punks need free rein without repurcussions for yur parents regarding child abuse. Where I come from if you abuse yur parents its known as parental abuse and later on you should be big enuf to not hold it againstaanyone and take stock for what you yurself have done to make it that way. You cats drag yur kids online here, aint no vulgar talk or anything IMO a kid cant read with parental guiding. I see a whole generation of kids who have both technology & strict laws governing mommy or daddy japslapping yur mouthy azz when a japslapping is dearly needed and you are so young & stoopid you are null n void as to why you got it. Dint ever hurt me, kiddies, and best be thankful I am not president or I would make for screening out those who are at fault for excessively whippin a kids azz when needed to teach a lesson and when a parent is so dreamy about their own spoiled kid that it shoulkd be mandatory that if the parent fool aint got the sense or wherewithal to administer a lesson then let someone with better sense go beat that spoiled littke sassmouth into the ground until he or she gets over all that chocolate-fed, sugar, bouncing-off-the-walls-and-lippy.
I have nuthin against children and I am not a basic combatant personality but I have no misgivings or qualms whatsoever when I say I would like to have roughly about half of the kids in this generation and show them a means by which they can straighten out their act.
We can cull out the bonafide child-abusers which I would hope I dont have to say I DESPISE, from those parents who feel hand-tied becaudse their kids may turn them into criminals thru CPS. A good knocking-out or slapdown in my day & age was understood by me ands dang sure had the desired effect of driving my parents point home. Here as a 54 yr old man with kids of my own and 4 grandkids, I abide by the same rules. My kids dont have to call me sir we are not that strict or uptight but both of my kids know from hands-on, and relate it to my grandkids that Dad demands just the basic respect to their elders and in their behavior or ol Shoer will not have any bragging rights on a
TKO of a 5 yr old, but guarantee ya all for sure & cash it in, my grandson found a curb to his lip before it got outta hand thanks to this author. I'll be damned if I am gonna be treated with casual disrespect by my own blood- but I will kiss the wounds, apply a bandaid and try explain to them on their level of age & thinking just why they have a fat lip or woke up not remembering how they fell asleep. You can be my own child in the day & grandkids now-you throw a chitty trantrom and start screaming and kicking, I WILL give yur little spoiled azz bigger things to focus on. Tellem Farmer, I have seen that thousand yard look in Ricky where you are not at fault enforcing the law in your own household. That kid reeks of love & respect and you are a very gentle man IMO unless its deer, and I bet everything and know well that if it did take a session or 2 when his testosterone level became untolerable and like all male mammals we go crazy at about 14-15 yrs old, you put a dose of Wanchese in the boy because just like me you are a man and dont put up with sass from kids.
I may ***** about grits n collards and yank the best jerk I can git on yur chains in a purely friendly, lets-mess-wiith-each-other way but one thing I gotta say about you confederate somesabeeches is the "Sir" & " Ma'am" thing. It is a good standard in my opinion that leaves & keeps an opening by which little twits address their elders, and shapes them up and gives em a dose in respect & decency.
Sometimes you have to leave them with the advice that te Big Chief wasnt all about that. After they regain consciousness if properly administered you have become the boss and they wont demand they eat potatoes at the family supper but rather ask politely if someone closest woul;d pass them to em.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I know, I know. You n Choker have chided me so badly about this very thing I am making plans to lose sleep over it sometime in the future.
Brevity is not my strong point. It has to be typed, re-typed, and then editted to ensure the lengthiness of it before I will click and post it. I feel that if the emotions behind a post dont warrant a minimum of ten thousand wurdz then why even bother?
I mean if I see something short & sweet on here I get suspicious right off. For instance, Bennett will post some ridiculous garbage related to fishing, only say "here it is and pics included."
I am not good with that. My first inclination is to ask whose fish are they, where did you meet these people, and who took the pic? I am not like many of you that copy & paste a pic of someone who caught a 9 lb crappie, then take it to photoshop and only keep the part with the hand holding the fish and put their own image as owner of said hand.
This is doobieous, and if I dont git Dustdews vote for Word of the Month on that one he is just a lost cause but will still retain his sorry azz as a friend if thats ok with him. Like Boscoe, that is another shiftless camper IMO.
If some of you guys would learn to read faster my lengthy posts wouldnt be such an issue daggummit all.
 
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