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Try them with Bald Eagle wings as an appetizer.
 

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On a pristine sand/gravel beach, erect a 7-10 ft stake at least ten inches in diameter. Historically, this stake is fashioned from a single elephant tusk, but these days it's tough to secure a big enough piece of ivory.

So the American version uses a stake milled from the heartwood of a sequoia at least 300 years old (sorry; no substitutes, it must be sequoia).

Around this, arrange an eight-foot circle of charcoal. But not the instant-light kind (see next step).

Render your whale blubber into oil at a low temperature beforehand. At the site, pour it over the charcoal -- this is what will get the fire going, and provide an oily-smoke flavor not possible otherwise.

Over the oil-satured charcoal, arrange stovewood-sized sticks of the remainder of your sequoia (do not use heartwood here). You want an even level of about two vertical feet of wood all the way around.

I should have mentioned -- before all of this, fast for 48 hours and drink plenty of grain alcohol. Once you are "cleaned out" and just before starting the fire, consume as much unborn fur seal meat as you can hold. (If you can get enough fetuses, eat only the backstraps.)

Now, stand next to the stake and have a partner tie you to it with baling wire in at least a dozen places. It MUST be baling wire, it must cross the skin several times especially above the waist, and it must be tightened by twisting with channel locks, because slowing oozing blood is important to the eventual taste of the dish.

Next, lay 2x4x18" strips of your dead and no longer useful trophies on top of the wood all around, especially at your feet.

Finally, partner lights the fire in an entire ring around you. It is important for the fire to be started at the very edges with no additional accelerants. This is so that your feet will bake first, and your sweat will mix with your oozing blood long before your skin actually begins to char. Properly done, you should live long enough to reflect on the fact that your meat has truly blackened to match your heart.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
im starting to make some soap with the blubber from it but it smells really wierd thank you fightclub for instructions on how to make soap
 
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