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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Friend of mine in Waretown NJ (down the shore) sent this to me and I posted it on the Virginia Angler Board. Not sure if they really get it, so we thought about posting it here. I thought it was funny............... (BTW, I'm from Jersey - Edison, then Metuchen, then Toms River, then Bayville. The wife is from Plainfield).

Here it is;

NJ EDITION OF WINDOWS XP

Dear Consumas:

It has come ta our attention dat a cupola copies of the WINDOWS XP NEW
JOISEY EDITION may have been shipped outsida Joisey. If ya got one a
dese, you may need some help unnerstanin da commands.

Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen.

It reads; "Windas XP" wit a background pitcha of Hoboken. When yous
start da program, instead of da usual harpy stringy like music, you hear
a little Springsteen. It's also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

PLEASE ALSO NOTE:

Recycle bin is labeled "Newark"

My computer is called "My Computa"

The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk"

Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked", "Erased", or "Rubbed Out"

Control Panel is known as "The Bosses"

Performing an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin da family
business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it
down.

Hard Drive is referred to as "Da turnpike on da way to da shore"

Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna believe dis" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA JOISEY EDITION:

OK...........Sure ting
Cancel......Fugetaboutit
Reset........Start ova
Yes............Yeah
No..............Nah
Find............Put a contract out on
Browse........Get a looksee
Back...........U-Toin
Help...........Get your own ansa
Stop............Knock it off
Start............Move it
Settings.......Here's da rules

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got a
copy of the JOISEY EDITION.

You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. YOU GOT A
PROBLEM WIT DAT?

(By da way, spellcheck is a nightmare wit da JOISEY edition dey still
haven't worked out all da bugs)
 

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******* Version of Windows 98

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.

Please also note: The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message a "roll of duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:
OK . . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right
Cancel . . . . . . . stopdat
Reset . . . . . . . . try er agin
Yes . . . . .. . . . . yep
No . . . . . . . . . . noop
Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it
Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder
Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder
Help . . . . . . . . . hep me out here
Stop . . . . . . . . . kwitit
Start . . . . . . . . crank er up
Settings . . . . . . . settins
Programs . . . . . . . stuff dat duz stuff
Documents . . . . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
Tiperiter . . . . . . . . A word processing program
Colerin book . . . . . . a graphics program
Cyferin mersheen . . . . calculator
Outhouse paper . . . . . notepad
Iner-net . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 4.0
Pichers . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer
Dern lit varmit . . . . . A mouse
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused ifin you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this heps all y'all!

Billy Bob Gates
Head Honcho
 
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