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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Damn. I mean, DAMN!!

[q]
TIOGA-NICETOWN - May 17, 2006 - A Philadelphia man is recovering from an attack, allegedly at the hands of his wife. The assault on his private parts has become public knowledge. In an interview with Action News after his release from, the 52-year-old victim spoke of his terrifying ordeal.

The 52-year-old Tioga-Nicetown man, who we are identifying only by his first name of Howard, arrived home late Wednesday, hours after his wife allegedly tore off two parts of his genitalia with her bare hands. Surgeons at Einstein successfully managed to repair the damage.

Howard/Tioga-Nicetown: "Doctors did a beautiful job in E.R. and the paramedics did a wonderful job, they only took 4 minutes to get here."

Howard says his 40-year-old wife Monica, who he says is bi-polar, somehow conceived the notion that he was cheating on her. So while he was asleep last night, she attacked him.

Police outside the home in Tioga-Nicetown following the domestic incident early Tuesday morning.

Howard: "I mean she just grabbed me all down there and yanking and yanking and tearing me up with those fingernails."

Police and paramedics rushed to the man's row home in the 3800 block of Pulaski where they found him bleeding profusely. He was rushed to Einstein where doctors first labeled his condition critical. He was later upgraded to stable after having reattachment surgery and a few doses of morphine.

Howard still cannot believe his wife of 11 years would allegedly do this him. Howard: "I can see doing something like that to a rapist, or mugger but not a husband, not something like..."

Dann: "She thought that you were cheating on her?"

Howard: "I wasn't cheating on nobody, I'm home in bed at 8' 0 clock every night, I mean I'm not out there messing around."

Brian Lawson/neighbor: "I mean men cringing when they hear the story, I mean uh, I'm just cringing thinking about it."

Antoinette Fortune/Neighbor: "Who would wanna do something like that?"

Unidentified Neighbor: "That's kinda nasty. That's drastic isn't it? He's lucky to be alive."

Some neighbors say Howard's had problems with his wife before and has thrown her out only to let her back in. They worry what'll happen next.

Dann Cuellar: "Howard, you're not gonna let her back in here are you?"

Howard: "Oh no, no, no. She's in jail where she belongs."

At one point, Howard's wife Monica was facing attempted murder charges but now, the D.A.'s office has asked that a psychiatric evaluation be performed before any charges are filed. [/q][sad]
 

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This is the second such attack reported here in the last two days, and I believe these were separate incidents.

Maybe we should ask for Brandon to consider a separate Groin Attack Reports Board.
 

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Drastic times call for drastic measures. I believe it's time for me to pull out the ol' drawing board and produce the first metal, locking jock strap...I think I'll call it..."The Jock Lock" or maybe "The Jewel Box" [grin][wink]
 

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Shes still alive? I'd have called the paramedics right after her dead body hit the floor.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yeah, I mean, you wake up to your wife tugging at your testes, damn, you'd think that your biological responses would kick in and you'd be all about killing that wench. But, you'd also have a few seconds of "what the f*ck is going on" and by then, it might be too late.

Damn. Just, damn. That's rough
 
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