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Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

>> Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

>> Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

>> Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a

>> sudden the words went away.'

>> Operator: 'Went away?'

>> Caller: 'They disappeared'

>> Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

>> Caller: 'Nothing.'

>> Operator: 'Nothing??'

>> Caller: 'It' s blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

>> Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

>> Caller: 'How do I tell?'

>> Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

>> Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

>> Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the

>> screen?'

>> Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you,it won't

>> accept anything I type.'

>> Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

>> Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

>> Operator: ' It's the thing with the screen on it that looks

>> like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

>> Caller: 'I don't know.'

>> Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and

>> find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

>> Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

>> Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me

>> if it's plugged into the wall.

>> Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

>> Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice

>> that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just

>> one? '

>> Caller: 'No.'

>> Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there

>> again and find the other cable.'

>> Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

>> Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged

>> securely into the back of your computer.'

>> Caller: 'I can't reach.'

>> Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

>> Caller: 'No.'

>> Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and

>> lean way over?'

>> Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right

>> angle -- it's because it's dark.'

>> Operator: 'Dark?'

>> Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only

>> light I have is coming in from the window.'

>> Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

>> Caller: 'I can't.'

>> Operator: 'No? Why not?'

>> Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

>> Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've

>> got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and

>> packing stuff that your computer came in?'

>> Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

>> Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and

>> pack it up just like it was when you got it.Then take it back to

>> the store you bought it from.'

>> Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

>> Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

>> Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell

>> them?'

>> Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a

>> computer!'

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